You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
