Why does Corona taste like a burp?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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