I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
