To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
