Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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