Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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