Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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