Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
