Moan for me like Helen Keller
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
