I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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