There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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