Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
