Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
