He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
