im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
