I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
you never un-have a 4some
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
