btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize