My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
