tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
