tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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