you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
