help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
