She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
