I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
