we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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