Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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