So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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