oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize