I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Your cock deserves a montage
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
