no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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