If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
