no, he came in my armpit
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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