from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
