Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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