Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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