There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Blow job season was short but glorious.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
