Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
