If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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