i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
