talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
