Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
