Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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