I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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