You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
