Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
