didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
