question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
