Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize