Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
