Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
