I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
