If i come over, it means nothing
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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