if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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