Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
