Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
