drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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