That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
