I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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