Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
