Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize