Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
