I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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