we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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