Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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